So we spend half our life pleasing others, doing what’s best for them, avoiding opinion to keep the peace and keeping quiet when you really want to scream at the top of your voice STOP already with the BS.
You see the problem with people pleasing is we give everything to everyone so when it comes time to give yourself something we have pretty much exhausted the energy and will power needed to look after number 1. And in case your wondering who number 1 is it`s YOU.
Let me just start with this line. By putting yourself first it’s not to be looked at as selfish but a necessity. So I don’t want you from this moment onwards to look at the word selfish with any form of negative connotation. It is a must and here we explain exactly why and how we achieve it.
IF IT FEELS WRONG DONT DO IT. So we all have an inner guide a thing that lets you know straight away that things seem off or they might make things worse. When it comes to anxiety it could be things like going out for dinner, visiting inlaws, nights out or social engagements. All of these things and many more will increase the anxiety, worry, stress, fear so if that gut feeling is telling you no then listen to it. It hasn’t been wrong in the past and it isn’t wrong now. Remember this is all about you and we have to show a lot of self-preservation, love and understanding at this point.
SAY EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. Don’t say yes and mean no, don’t say no but mean yes. Remember we are trying to change our emotional set up right now and the only way to do it is to show the subconscious new ways of doing things for it to pick up on and adapt to. Say it as you see it and do not try and keep everyone happy. We focus on keeping you happy right now. Sometimes in life, we have to break things to have new, this is us breaking the old ways and showing new. Do not be afraid to do this because the way you are doing it now isn’t working, and to get a different result we need to do a different behaviour.
NEVER SPEAK BADLY ABOUT YOURSELF. Read the subheading to this paragraph, then read it again and again. This is vital I mean on every level. You see we never lie to our own mind, we cant we would reject it straight away. Go on give it a bash, repeat after me”I am 9ft Tall with green hair” notice you never even tried to say it properly. So on that note the things you do say you tend to invest in. No, you are not worthless, no you are not broken beyond repair, and no you not stupid. Stupid people don’t take time to follow, read, learn and see if the thing that’s happening can change. You are beautiful in every single way no matter what your thoughts come up with at times and you are going to beat this, recover and one day smile so brightly this phase and it is only a phase won’t even register. You must remember your now is not your forever and it is going to change. Treat yourself how you treat the one thing in life you love more than anything, forgive, be kind, be flexible and show yourself the same compassion as you would want others to show you.
NEVER STOP DAYDREAMING IT WILL HAPPEN. So many people think by doing affirmations like” today I will be ok will make it ok, I refer you to the paragraph above and we don’t believe it to be true it just turns out to be an empty statement. Instead, close your eyes and dream of the day you are anxiety free. Really get into it, where are you, what are you doing, who is with you, what’s being said. Look at yourself anxiety free and live every second of it. That is so much more powerful than false statements that you don’t really believe anyway. A picture paints a thousand words and these pictures go a long way to changing the emotional state we are in.
DONT BE AFRAID TO SAY NO. Again I would refer you to the fact that reading articles like this must mean something is out of balance and we are looking for answers to make the change. One of the important changes is regaining the ability to just say no. You don’t need to explain your reasons and logic behind it a simple, No it’ not for me will suffice for now and in time we can explain if we so wish. You really really really are the most important part of the jigsaw puzzle we call life and if we put yourself out of balance and just agree to do things or tasks as not to upset the world all we are doing is hurting yourself. If they love you, care for you or are supporting you in any way they will understand and just let it be. If they are not and try and push the matter a simple it doesn’t serve me so I am not doing it will do for now. How many times have people said no to you ? did your world collapse, did the earth stop turning,?No it didn’t and it won’t when you say no this time around, but you will feel a huge weight off your shoulders when you realise today you stood up for yourself and managed to be in control and say no.
STAY AWAY FROM DRAMA AND NEGATIVITY. We all have one friend or family member who we could call the Dyson, because they suck the life out you with the negative outlook and misery they bring to every conversation. Top tip just don’t ask them how they are doing today and allowing them to go into the whole BS of how the world is horrid and everyone is at fault and how crap they feel about it all. It is so bloody draining it really does have a massive knock-on effect on your mood and emotional balance. If they are family try your best to avoid long drawn out conversations about how things are and if you cant reverse the conversation so everything they say or look at you do the very opposite. Negative minds don’t like positive conversations and it will make them avoid the conversations that hurt you. Ok, I know the world likes to think we live in a Jeremy Kyle society, but we don’t need to. If you know dram follows certain people in life just for now until we are up and running let’s try and avoid them. You have your own problems, issues and demons to deal with how on earth can we make headway with ours when we have to deal with everyone else. You are the priority right now and this is all about self-protection and self-care because I can’t stress enough you are number 1 and the priority here.
The point of this article really has one aim. I need you 100% to remember that happiness comes by changing and starting it from within. Small victories combined allow us to win the battle when we are self-preserving. This is designed to give you back a little control, a sense of achievement and show you that we can fight this. It’s not forever and it can be changed. Please believe me if I could take your pain for you and allow you to be anxiety free right now I would. In this fight we have to take the stairs to the top we don’t have an elevator so a little hard work and fight on your part now will go a long long way. 5 X small victories = massive overall change so let’s try something different and give this a go. Come on what have you really got to lose by at least giving it a bash. Love always Serenity
Serenity NLP is fast becoming the Countries leading anxiety experts and have shown time and time again anxiety can be removed and replaced with the dynamic HIT Therapy. If you want to know more or sign up for Anxiety HIT contact Lead therapist and creator of anxiety HIT Kevin Mullin on 07788119374 or drop him an email at kevin@serenitynlp.com
Listen to the words please and believe them to be 1 million per cent true, this is for every single person who is suffering today. I love each and every one of you for the strength, spirit and fight you have shown x
We have only just begun my friends
