We hear it day after day after day here at Serenity NLP” I just can’t let go of the memories”. You’re wrong, you can!.  Some memories will stay with you forever and they can always be looked on with grace and elegance and for what they were. Some memories, however, can do more damage than the event itself. You see memories are just that some good, some bad and some very forgetful and if you hold on to the wrong ones they can keep you locked down in a place you should have left a long time ago. Let me explain.

We all have memories that we look back at with fondness and feel good about. We are emotionally attached to them and they bring back a feeling of warmth, love, happiness and joy. Those memories are ok to keep with you and revisit and relook at them every now and then, after all, what would life be without good memories to keep us happy and allow us to remember the good times, I have a million memories and only ever look back at the good and the ones that were at the time nice, for example if you had a memory of sitting in a small French wine bar on a cold New years eve in New York sipping French martinis and having the time of your life in the middle of down town new york that would be a memory to keep hold of, I mean it would be like a scene from the worlds most romantic movie with all the hustle and bustle of New York and you don’t notice anything apart from the look in each other’s eyes, it would be magical  yes ?.  Of course it would and you would keep that for example. But what about a few months or years down the line if the relationship ended would you still want to keep it. Well that I guess would depend on the circumstances of the termination of the relationship and this is the point we are trying to make. Are the memories you keep holding on to damaging you in any way or are they just that plain old memories that don’t really do anything apart from putting a smile on your face.

Know the difference:  So the first thing we need to do is know what memories are helping and what are damaging, so let’s try it now. Close your eyes take a nice gentle breath in and bring the memory to the front of your mind. Really concentrate on it and give it 100% of your focus. Hold it……. open your eyes after 1 minute or so and ask a simple question. How do I feel right now, Has it brought a smile to your face? has it made you feel nice and warm, or are you sat close to tears, panic, worry or heightened anxiety?  If the answer is the second one then i would suggest it is time to let go and move forward easier said than done right?  No, it’s not let us show you.

Why is it Painful:  So as we already know, words=thoughts and thoughts=emotions and it is the emotional attachment to the memory that is causing all the pain. So how would it feel if the emotions were removed, then surely it could just stay at the thought part and not cause us any pain or suffering. Well that’s exactly what we do with these memories we emotionally detach from them and when that happens we don’t feel the pain or hurt or sadness that goes along with them, remember when you came into the world you were perfect. You didn’t know hate, pain, sadness or anxiety, worry and stress. All these things have been picked up and learned and as we know if something can be learned it can be un learned.

White it out: So the trick is to set new patterns and re train our mind to de tach and diminish the memories that are hurtful to us. A really powerful method for this is called white it out. Now it takes some practice and repetition but after a while this will become our automatic response when the painful memory comes up. So here we go it comes up and I want you to close your eyes and put it in a picture in front of you. Now imagine this picture has controls and the control we are interested in is the white balance button. You know the one where if we turn it up to much the screen just becomes white. So I want you to take the picture and start to turn the balance up so it gets brighter and lighter and brighter and lighter until all you see is a white picture, Now fold it in half, and again and again until it is the size of a stamp. The take a deep breath in and blow on it and push it all the way out until it is nothing more than the size of a pin prick and with one final breath blow really hard until it is gone. Now open your eyes and notice the feeling has gone. Again I have to stress practice and repetition with this method and before you know it you will have full control of your negative memories that hurt you.

Make new, forget old: Are you sat waiting for the world to do you a turn and help you out and deliver because you’re a good person or you deserve happiness or you deserve to be free from crippling emotions. Sorry, not going to happen. The world owes you nothing and will deliver exactly that. What can happen is you can make, create and force changes. When that happens we can come out of the hurt and turmoil we are in and start to make new fresh memories, happy memories, memories that serve us and don’t damage us. Trust me when I tell you that we are in charge of our emotions and not vice versa. Ok so its time to make new memories, it’s time to take up that hobby or past time you always wanted. It’s time to forge new friendships and relationships if that’s what you want to do. Nothing in the world is stopping that from happening only your own mind.

Be bold and reach for the stars: We all have hopes and dreams and for most people, that’s all they are just hopes and dreams, but instead of them being just thoughts what would happen if we made some massive changes and effort to make them a reality. I tell you what happens we discover peace contentment, happiness, fulfilment. You see the world is full of amazing opportunities and we just have to know how to make them a reality. When that happens negatives thoughts emotions and memories will all be a thing of the past. Remember the past is gone and can’t be changed. The future hasn’t arrived yet and today is all we have that`s why it`s called the present because if looked at properly it really is a gift.

Serenity NLP are making a major impact in the world of Therapy here is Central Scotland. We believe and we deliver fast effective change. To find out more about the Serenity approach you can call or text us on 07788119374 or for more info email us at info@serenitynlp.com

Remember hapiness by change, not chance.